ramblings of a homesick 20 year old

I swore it wouldn't happen to me. I swore I'd be too busy doing fabulous things to even think about home. But in the end I guess it was inevitable- I'm homesick. It has been such a crazy and emotional and FUN experience in Europe, but it's in my quiet moments that it really hits me. I miss America. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my dogs, my church, my street, my car, Furman, going to Rancho, talking with my sisters, bantering with my brother, taking naps. I. miss. my. life. I don't mean to sound sad- I'm not. To me, sadness and homesickness are two different things. I'm not sad I'm in Belgium, I'm ecstatic. I'm just missing those little things that have made up the whole of me for almost 21 years. 


When I have these moments, I often laughingly look back on my summers as a counselor at Gwynn Valley. There, dealing with homesickness is just one of those things you add to your to do list or your job description: wake up early, sing songs, do crafts, go camping, eat meals, deal with homesick campers. I used to be so perplexed by those little campers who were homesick. Sure, I love my family and missed them too, but didn't these campers realize that they were at one of the coolest places on Earth, doing all of these fun activities? Who had time to be homesick? Well, I guess call me an 8 year old, because here I am, homesick as those weepy campers. I think about what I used to tell them- "Your mom and dad would want you to focus on having a good time!" or "They sent you here because they love you and they know that camp is awesome!" or "Just focus on all the fun you're having!". I repeat these sayings to myself, and still... I remain homesick. 


At first I felt extraordinarily guilty. How dare I have this fabulous opportunity afforded me and answer it by being homesick? How dare I wish for Rancho's cheese dip when I could walk literally 5 minutes and have a famous Belgian waffle? How dare I long for the comforts of my bed in Hartsville when I'm literally living in the CAPITAL of Europe, home to the European Union? How dare I wish for those lazy winter weekends at home when I spend my weekends here traveling to various fabulous, famous European cities? 


What I guess I've come to realize is that it's OKAY. It's ok to miss the stupid little things, like crappy meals in the DH with my best friends, or logging on to a website and having the default language be English, or being able to drive to the places that I want to go. I don't think homesickness is lessening my experience here; rather it is making me even more grateful. On the whole, I'm almost happy about it. It means I have a life that I love, a life that is worth missing. That's not to say that I'm not actually counting down the hours until my family arrives in Europe, or looking forward to December 17th, when I step back on American soil. I don't think that wanting to be home and wanting to be here are necessarily mutually exclusive. I know that doesn't make any sense, but somehow, I've figured out a way to love being here while still longing for home. And for the most part, I'm good with it. Homesickness doesn't control my life here, but it definitely is a part of it. And I'm not sure I'd have it any other way.


The most ironic part of it all? I'm fairly certain that when I get home, I'll be saying "Oh, how I miss Europe..."

But there you have it- the ramblings of an unashamed, homesick 20 year old, who on some days just wants her Momma.

barcelona

Once again sorry for the backup in posts- see below for the London one!


This weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting the beautiful Spanish city of Barcelona. Seriously, what a treat. Barcelona may have been my favorite city so far. My mom said "You think every city is your favorite!" and this may definitely be true, but I think Barcelona was the favorite of my favorites. Great food, beautiful city, great atmosphere and culture! There was a large group of us from the Furman group going (13 girls and 1 boy, hey Russell!), all thanks to the delightful 40 Euro roundtrip ticket from Ryanair! Anyway, we arrived in Barcelona on Thursday night late, where we headed straightaway to our hostel. Because it had been a long week (hello two papers and a midterm), I pretty much collapsed and was out for the night. The next morning we woke up early with plans to see some of the best Barcelona sights. Inevitably, however, we got lost while walking. Maybe I should just change my blog to "Leah's experiences lost in Europe". Anyway, it ended up being a happy mistake, because we stumbled upon the harbor in Barcelona! So great to be near the water again. We walked along the harbor for a while, just enjoying the beach and all the boats. We then decided to head into the center of town, where all of the churches were located. Again, we got lost, but mistakenly ended up right outside of the Barcelona cathedral- something we hadn't planned to visit, but took a quick peek inside and were really pleasantly surprised. It was the typical European gothic cathedral with a twist- the inside was full of plant life, an open ceiling, and even geese! It was botanical bliss! (Even better, there was no entry fee). After the cathedral, we stumbled upon the first of several outdoor food markets of the weekend and got to try some delicious samples. Like Sam's club, but so, so much better. We then decided to head to the Picasso museum just before lunch. I've talked before how I really don't have an appreciation for art, but I actually really enjoyed this museum. Picasso's work is just very different from anything I've seen before, and unlike the stuff I saw in the Albertina in Vienna, the art actually did seem meaningful to me. After the museum we grabbed a quick lunch and headed to my favorite place of the day, Park Guell. Park Guell is this garden complex with architectural elements, and it was designed by Antoni Gaudi, the famed Barcelona architect (more on him later). Being there was like being in a beehive. Many of the structures were influenced by natural elements, and so were very unique. I can honestly say I've never seen anything like it. I feel like I can only really explain the layout through pictures, so see below! Anyway, Park Guell was my first taste of Gaudi, and I seriously loved everything about it. After Park Guell, we headed back on the bus that we thought would lead us to our hostel (seriously, does anyone sense a theme here?)...and we ended up at the last stop, where the bus driver promptly informed us to get off...at the beach. Three miles from our hostel. We initially were going to try and make it back, but then we just decided to go ahead and hang out at the beach until dinner, which we'd planned to have by the sea anyway. We took off our shoes and played in the sand, and then hopped over to a tiny outdoor restuarant, where the 6 of us who were there split some nachos, guacomole, and sangria. I don't think my stomach has ever been happier. Mexican food is my absolute favorite- at home I eat it at least once a week, so it's been torture being over here without it. The nachos were delicious, and not to mention I got to try the Spanish classic drink, sangria! It was delicious! It's like wine with little pieces of fruit floating in it- very good. We killed some more time just hanging by the beach until we decided to go and check out the restuarant scene. Adair and I had our hearts set on trying paella for dinner, and we went up and down the seaside looking for semi-reasonably priced restuarants that offered it. Did I forget to mention that most restuarants in Barcelona don't even OPEN for dinner until 8:30? So even when we'd decided upon a restuarant (by about 7) we still had an hour to kill before it even opened. Like I said, the Spanish lifestyle is relaxed, and nothing is in a hurry, not even dinner! When 8:30 rolled around we were all starving. We settled on a 20 Euro fixed price menu that included a salad, paella, a dessert, and a drink (beer, wine, or water- seriously sometimes in Europe beer is cheaper than water. It blows my mind!). I'd never tried paella before and don't particularly care for seafood, but I was not disappointed. They bring the paella out in a dish big enough to serve several people (and most restuarants won't let you order a single portion), and then they spoon it onto your plate for you. Paella is like a combination of seafood and rice (neither of which I like, so looking back I'm not sure why I tried it, but I'm happy I did!) and it was DELICIOUS. The rice is very seasoned and the seafood tasted great. I definitely loved it. It was a nice, relaxing long dinner with great people. When we finished, our server brought us all what looked like shots, but turned out to be some type of "digestif". I decided not to partake, as straight alcohol was a little too much after that heavy dinner. After dinner we had a bus ride (the right bus this time) back to our hostel and headed to bed. The next morning, we woke up early again with plans to visit Montserrat, a mountain top monastery in Catalonia, Spain, right outside of Barcelona. It was at least an hour train ride away, with a cable car that took you up the mountain. We bought our train tickets and were on our way! An hour later, we hopped off and hopped right into an aerial cable car. The view was completely magnificent. The mountains were breathtaking, and I definitely had one of those "is this actually my life?!" moments. I have to admit I'd been pretty bummed about not being at Furman for homecoming this past weekend because my sorority was paired up with the fraternity a lot of my guy friends are in, and I just love homecoming in general, but this gave me some perspective. While my friends were building a homecoming float (which is so fun, don't get me wrong) I was on the side of a mountain in SPAIN. Anyway, when we reached the top, our first visit was to Santa Maria de Montserrat, a beautiful Benedictine abbey. We came in right as mass was ending, and the abbey was completely breathtaking. There are some places where you just feel God's presence, and sitting there in that abbey on the top of this beautiful Spanish mountain, I couldn't help but tear up. I was definitely in the presence, and I took a few quiet moments to just say thanks once again for the wonderful opportunities that God has afforded me. After the abbey, we grabbed a quick lunch and headed up to where the best view of the entirety of Montserrat could be seen. Unfortunately the cloud cover was too great, so we couldn't get much a view, but we hiked around the area for a little and hung out. We headed back down to the main part of Montserrat, in time to catch the cable car back down and just barely catch the train that only leaves once an  hour back to Barcelona. Thanks to some rude people in line, not everyone in our group was so lucky, and we ended up having to leave several people behind. This turned out to be okay though, because our next stop was Sagrada Familia, and the people who were left had already seen it. So now: Sagrada Familia! Oh. My. Gosh. It was INSANELY gorgeous. I have never been so interested in architecture as I have been in Barcelona. Sagrada Familia is another Gaudi brainchild. The outside literally looks like a melting wax candle, but the inside is like someone took a traditional cathedral and made every aspect of it modern. Everything Gaudi did was inspired by nature, so there were things that looked like bee hives, flowers, and plenty of color everywhere. The natural lighting from the stained glass windows turned the walls different colors, leaving this overall effect of being in a type of paradise. We first walked around the cathedral, then the museum attached that explained all about Gaudi and his work. Turns out Sagrada Familia won't even be finished completely until 2030, which means it will have taken over 150 years to build! After we'd had our fill of Sagrada Familia (well not actually, because I could have stayed there forever), we met up with our friends on a popular shopping street to visit the Spanish chain Zara. We spent an hour or two shopping (the shops were open until 10, thanks again Spain, and once again no worries Mom and Dad- no purchases, to my dismay) and then headed to a nearby square for a tapas dinner! We all got tapas and yes, again we decided to splurge on some paella. It was just too good! After dinner we caught a flamenco show nearby. It was so interesting. The dancing was beautiful and the dancers literally had so much passion- on their faces and in their movements. The emotions were really intense. We decided to top off our night with a traditional Spanish dessert of chocolate and churros. They literally bring you a CUP full of melted chocolate, and you dip churros, this type of fried sweet dough, into it. Not the healthiest thing, but delicious nonetheless. The next morning we had a flight bright and early back to Brussels. It was so sad to leave Spain. I seriously loved everything about it- the food, the architecture, the culture, the people- everything was perfect. It definitely tops my list of places I can't WAIT to revisit!


You'll have to indulge me, there are a lot of pictures for this blog!

Anna and I at the harbor

hello morning in Barcelona!

Barcelona cathedral

geese! in a cathedral!

one of the outdoor markets

Park Guell!

view from Park Guell

more Park Guell

it looks like a beehive!

Park Guell, seriously awesome

some more Gaudi in the Park

sangria and guacamole!!

best.day.ever.

the beach

paella!

cable car up to Montserrat

the view

breathtaking!

cloudy

soooooo pretty

view from the abbey

inside the abbey

hiking at the peak!

Sagrada Familia

the interior

shadows- best lighting ever

reflection from the stained glass

chocolate and churros!

My next post will come after fall break, which will last from this weekend until the next! I'll spend this weekend until Tuesday in Berlin, then fly to Greece and be in Santorini until next Saturday. CAN'T WAIT!

to madison

Another birthday missed. It's days like this that I really, truly miss America. Today is Madison's 19th birthday, and I really couldn't be more sad that I'm missing it. In the Hassler household, birthdays are a big deal. Our entire family is obsessed with them, and we have what we call the 'birthday season', which starts at Hayley's birthday in September, then goes on to Madison's in October, and finally to mine in November. 3 girls, 3 months, 3 birthdays, chronological order by birth.

And today is the second of those! So in honor of my beautiful, wonderful, fabulous, awe-inspiring sister, I give you:

19 pictures that sum up why I love Madison:

1) We can always have fun together. Through good fashion and bad fashion (see above), crazy times, or just a normal day, I always have so much fun with my sister.

2) She is definitely my "mommy madison". Sometimes I truly feel like Madison is the older sister- she can be so mature and always has everything together. Plus, she puts up with me! (you're welcome for this awful picture, by the way).

3) We have the most fun travelling experiences together. Seriously, I wish that she was with me on every trip I take over here. I always think whenever I go to a new city, "oh, next time when Madison and I come back here..." See above pic for our Paris McDonalds experience! (Sorry again for eating all the fries)

4) We have the same music obsession. This picture is of us with Eric Hutchinson. When I won tickets at Furman my sophomore year for myself and a friend to meet Eric Hutchinson, I knew exactly who to call! Not to mention the best summer of my life was spent with me, my new car, my new license, my new appreciation for finding my own music, and Madison.

5) She's actually the smartest person I know. Whether her SAT score is absolutely killing mine (thanks for the self esteem boost, Miss I-scored-higher-on-math-as-a-freshman-than-my-sister-did-as-a-senior) or she's graduating valedictorian of Hartsville High and getting the Wylie Math scholarship to Furman, this girl is smart. Plus I just think its so cool that she's into math- I mean really, who likes math?

6) She's beautiful. Of course this goes without saying, but she is seriously one of the prettiest people ever. I have always been envious of my beautiful sisters, who are pretty in such different ways. Madison was even Miss Hartsville High her senior year! Seriously I remember crying when she won because I couldn't think of anyone prettier or more deserving.

7) Our childhood memories will always be the most special to me. So yeah, we may have played with Barbies in these really complex plots (remember the Barbie with cancer? Or the "bad girls"?) or me dragging her by her hair on the carpet, or even "I smell like cheese", I can't imagine anyone more fun to grow up with.

8) We have the same taste in books, and can spend hours talking about it. The picture of the book is purposefully blank, because well, we may actually really be obsessed with a pretty embarassing genre (dragons anyone?).

9) She's crazy athletic. Oh hello, 3 varsity letter sport star. Oh goodbye my dignity the one day I decided to go to track practice. Can't keep up with the kind of discipline this girl has.

10) She cares about people. I have no bigger supporter than my sister. She's the one I cry to, the one I call when I have good news, and the one I know will always, always be there for me.

11) We love our TV shows. There are a select few shows that Madison and I are obsessed with and could probably have days worth of conversation on. Marry us, Chuck Bass.

12) There's nothing better than a talk session with your sister over Rancho's cheese dip. Europe has made me appreciate this even more, and it's not just the cheese dip I miss, I promise!

13) She teaches me to be the best person I can possibly be. There is a quote about sisters that I love- it goes like this: "A sister may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self." That is what Madison is to me. No matter what happens, she will always be the one to remind me of who I am and why I'm special.

14) Does this really need an explanation?

15) She makes a mean pound cake. And not only does she not fail at cooking like I do, she's actually an excellent baker. Multi talented, sigh. Mail me some brownies?

16) Her best friends are my best friends. Growing up, I always loved that we had the same circle of friends. And even to this day I think it speaks volumes for her maturity that she was always able to hang out with the "older kids".

17) She is a child of God. She inspires me every day to grow in my faith, and I have been so proud of her for the way she has become so involved with church at Furman. Can't wait to visit good old TR UMC with you when I get back!

18) She is the most put together person I know. Literally, I don't know anyone else that I can count on more to have things all together. Not only does she run her own life seamlessly, she still has time to be one of the most genuine, beautiful people I know.

19) She has been, and always will be my best friend. There is no better friend than a sister, for a sister makes every other best friend seem just a little less. Madison and I are sisters by birth, but best friends through the grace of God and the love that we have for each other.

I guess to conclude I can say that Madison has always been my hero. I remember being asked in high school to write about someone who is your hero, and while other kids in my class wrote about sports stars and celebrities, all I could think about was my little sister. My little sister- the beautiful, one of a kind, most genuine, perfect, and caring person I know. The one who has been there through it all and has loved me despite it all. I miss you so much today Mads, you can't even fathom. I'm literally tearing up because I just can't wait a whole month to see you. I love you so much, and I am so proud of you. I can't wait to spend the rest of my time at Furman with you!

london

Sorry it has taken me so long to post this!!! I had two papers due last week and needless to say I was a little burnt out on writing! So- London. What a great weekend with wonderful friends. Anna and I travelled by train on Thursday night to go and visit our friend Juan, who is living in London, and for all of us to meet up with our other friends Seth and Blake, who flew over during Furman's fall break, and Meagan, who is studying in Ireland this semester. Now of course no trip of mine would be complete without a few mishaps. Here was our first. Anna and I thought that because we were going by train (once again, another endorsement: train travel is the way to go!!!), we would only need to arrive at Gare du Midi about 30 minutes early. Well knowing us, and the fact that we were coming from work, we were inevitably running a little bit late. What we forgot to calculate was the fact that London is not part of Schengen, so we would need to show our passports, get our visas checked, and go through security. This involved several long lines, and we got on the train with literally 5 minutes to spare. Definitely a stressful experience, but hey, at least we got on the right train this time! So we were off to London! We arrived about two hours later, beyond excited. Because Anna's dad is a member of the Marriot rewards system, we were staying in a very nice Marriot on Park Lane for very little cost (thanks Bower family!!). It was such a beautiful and nice hotel! The next morning, we slept in a little and then went to meet our friends in Leicester Square for lunch. We ended up eating at a little cafeteria place. After that, we basically took a walking tour of London on our own. The weather was perfect and the company was even better. I can't tell you how nice it was to be back amongst my best friends, in a wonderful city like London. We passed several of the big London landmarks, and I even randomly got stopped to be interviewed on television  outside of Big Ben. With the afternoon drawing to a close, we were getting pretty hungry and were excited for some dinner. We ended up eating at this fabulous little Italian place. It was delicious, and we had a long dinner just sitting around catching up with our friends. The next day, we once again slept in and met up for lunch with our friends again. This time we decided to get sandwiches and go have a picnic in Hyde Park. We grabbed some food at Pret a Manger (fabulous place!) and then headed to find a perfect spot in the park. Once again the weather was beautiful- we were really blessed. After lunch the girls wanted to get some shopping done, so we split ways with our guy friends with plans to meet up for dinner. We headed to one of my favorite American stores, Anthropologie, and took the rest of Oxford Street by storm. Don't worry Mom and Dad, for once I didn't actually purchase anything! After about 3 hours of shopping, we were definitely tired and ready for some dinner. We headed back in what we thought was the right direction....and if you've been reading this blog, you definitely know what happens next! The good news is, we got to see London in the evening, and it was SO beautiful. The bad news was, we were lost for 2 hours and were late for our dinner date with the boys. We ended up finally back at our hotel around 8, where the lovely concierge pointed us in the way of a delicious restuarant for dinner. We'd decided to splurge a little and have a nicer dinner that night, and it was definitely worth it! We went to this really nice hole in the wall restuarant, where we met up with the boys. Once again, it was just a really nice long dinner with good friends. Sunday was our last day in London. We wanted to be sure that we got in one of the staple London activities- afternoon tea! Meagan had to leave early that morning for her flight back to Ireland, so the rest of us met up at this nice teahouse and got some tea, scones, and other delicious brunch food. We topped off our day with another picnic in the park and several hours of lounging, just enjoying being with each other. The boys put Anna and I in a taxi around 4 PM, and we headed back to the train station for the ride home. Overall, this trip to me was about experiencing London in a different way. I knew that I was going to go back and do all of the tourist-y stuff with my family in November, so I didn't have any set schedule for this trip. The result was a beautiful, relaxing time experiencing London with my dearest friends. It was nice to have a taste of home, and the trip truly left me so happy and feeling once again so blessed with my life. I have to admit that I did get a little homesick, but my family arrives in a little less than a month!!

welcome to London!

fabulous friends

phonebooth photo!

the first of our picnics in Hyde Park

picnic!

during our time lost in London

the group after our great dinner!

last day picnic

tea!

Also, the Barcelona blog is on its way, should be up tomorrow! Thanks for being patient!